Pelvic pain during sex: understanding cause and finding relief

pelvic-pain-during-sex

Experiencing pain during sexual intimacy is a common concern for many individuals. Let's approach this sensitive matter, which can understandably cause distress in the bedroom. If you've been experiencing this, you're not alone. It's a common issue that many people face, but the good news is there are ways to feel better. In some cases, discomfort may be linked to pelvic floor issues, including signs of overdoing Kegels, which can cause tension and tightness in the pelvic muscles. In this guide, we'll dive into what's causing that pain and explore how to find relief. Whether you're dealing with occasional twinges or more persistent discomfort, we've got your back. So, let's get comfy and chat about how to make your intimate moments pain-free and enjoyable again!

Is pelvic pain during sex common?

Pelvic pain during sex is more common than you might think. This condition, also known as dyspareunia, affects both men and women, although it is far more common among women. While exact numbers vary, studies suggest (1) that 3-18% of people worldwide experience this type of discomfort.

What causes pelvic pain during sex?

Pelvic floor dysfunction

Pelvic pain during sex often stems from pelvic floor dysfunction. This occurs when the muscles and ligaments in your pelvic area aren't working properly. Factors like traumatic injuries, surgeries, pregnancy, and stress can contribute to this condition, leading to tension and difficulty relaxing during intimacy.

Vaginismus and related conditions

Vaginismus is another common culprit, causing involuntary muscle spasms that make penetration painful or impossible. Similarly, conditions like vaginal atrophy or vulvar vestibulitis can cause discomfort during initial penetration. These issues often have both physical and psychological components, potentially stemming from anxiety, past traumas, or negative experiences.

Underlying medical conditions

Endometriosis, a condition where uterine-like tissue grows outside the uterus, can cause deep pain during intercourse. Other medical issues like ovarian cysts, pelvic inflammatory disease, or uterine prolapse may also contribute to discomfort. Additionally, vulvodynia, which causes chronic vulvar pain, can make sexual activity uncomfortable.

Remember, experiencing pelvic pain during sex isn't something you should ignore or endure. It's essential to consult with a healthcare provider to identify the underlying cause and explore appropriate treatments, which may include physical therapy, medications, or counseling.

What are the symptoms of pelvic pain during sex?

Common signs and symptoms

  • Sharp pain or discomfort upon initial penetration, often described as a burning or stinging sensation
  • Deep ache or throbbing during thrusting, especially in certain positions
  • Cramping or muscle spasms in the pelvic area during or after intercourse

Associated symptoms

  • Bladder discomfort or increased urge to urinate
  • Feeling of heaviness or pressure in the pelvic region
  • Spotting or bleeding after sex

Psychological impact

  • Anxiety about intercourse
  • Decreased arousal or difficulty achieving orgasm
  • Cycle of tension and discomfort that exacerbates physical symptoms

How to relieve pelvic pain during sex?

Experiencing pelvic pain during sex can be frustrating, but there are several ways to find relief. Let's explore some effective strategies to help you enjoy a more comfortable and pleasurable intimate experience.

Pelvic floor therapy

Pelvic floor therapy can be a game-changer for those dealing with pain during intercourse. A qualified pelvic floor physical therapist can assess your condition and provide manual therapy techniques and personalized exercises. These may include hypertonic pelvic floor exercises, which are designed to help release tension in the pelvic muscles, along with stretches targeting the hips and lower back to alleviate discomfort. Vaginal dilators that progress in size is a common treatment option that makes gradual changes to vaginal tissues to decrease pain and aid in desensitizing. 

Lubrication and communication

Using a high-quality lubricant can significantly reduce friction and discomfort during sex. Don't be shy about communicating with your partner, either. Open dialogue about pain triggers with your partner can lead to more enjoyable experiences for both of you. 

Don’t skip foreplay

Foreplay is essential in reducing pain with sex by increasing arousal, which naturally relaxes the pelvic floor muscles and stimulates blood flow, enhancing natural vaginal lubrication. By spending time in foreplay, couples can build trust and emotional connection, which also aids in reducing tension and anxiety around sex. 

Relaxation techniques

Incorporating relaxation techniques into your routine can help ease pelvic floor tension. Try meditation, warm baths, or gentle yoga to release muscle tension and promote overall relaxation. Remember, it may take time to see improvements, but consistency is key in managing pelvic floor pain during sex.

How long does it take to relieve pelvic pain during sex?

The timeline for relieving pelvic pain during sex varies depending on the underlying cause and treatment approach. It may take several weeks to months of consistent treatment before significant improvement is achieved. Pelvic floor exercises, physical therapy, and relaxation techniques can help strengthen and relax muscles over time. Patience is key. Working closely with a healthcare provider to identify the root cause and develop a personalized treatment plan is crucial for finding relief from pelvic pain during intercourse.

Can pelvic pain during sex go away on its own?

Experiencing pelvic pain during sex can be frustrating and concerning. While it's natural to hope the discomfort will resolve on its own, the reality is that pelvic pain during sex often requires professional treatment to address the underlying cause and provide relief.

When to seek professional help for pain with sex?

Persistent or severe pain

If you experience recurrent or persistent pain during intercourse, it's crucial to seek professional help. Don't ignore discomfort that disrupts your daily life or worsens over time. Remember, treating the underlying cause can significantly improve your sex life and overall well-being.

Accompanying symptoms

Be alert to other signs that may indicate a more serious condition. Seek immediate medical attention if you experience sudden, severe pelvic floor pain during sex accompanied by fever, nausea, vomiting, or difficulty urinating. These symptoms could signal an emergency requiring prompt care.

Impaired sexual function

If pelvic pain during sex is affecting your ability to enjoy intimacy or causing problems like vaginismus (involuntary muscle spasms), it's time to consult a healthcare provider. They can help diagnose the issue and recommend appropriate treatments, which may include pelvic floor physical therapy, medications, or other interventions tailored to your specific needs.

Remember, seeking help early can prevent issues from worsening and improve your quality of life. Don't hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional if pelvic pain is impacting your sexual experiences or overall well-being.


Experiencing pelvic discomfort during sexual activity is a common issue faced by many individuals, but there are plenty of ways to find relief. Be patient with yourself as you explore different solutions. Most importantly, don't hesitate to reach out to a healthcare provider if you need more support. Your sexual health and comfort matter. With the right approach, you can work towards more enjoyable, pain-free intimacy. You've got this!


Sources: 

  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK562159/ 
  2. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15723-vaginismus

 

Tiffany SURMIK
Pelvic Health Educator and CEO of My Core Harmony
Mother of two with firsthand experience as a pelvic health therapist and patient. Her specialties are pediatric and women’s health.

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